Welcome to "Our Life"

Saturday, November 27, 2010

There is time to Breath

The two guys I Referred to earlier this week have been found and both are at home now. I have included this link to a news paper article as part of this update.
It is mostly accurate except a few things. The guys weren't scouting trails, they were trying to go get fuel AND Dave (according to him) was not the almighty savior for Russ. Russ was not in good shape but the coke-sing was only for the last little bit of the walking trip, when Russ was getting really weak. They also only walked a few miles, not 7 1/2 as stated in the article. It was a rough few miles across ice rubble and slush.
You may have to copy and paste this link into your browser address bar to get the news paper article. Thank God the guys survived this one.

Myra "moved" over to Northwoods Lodge yesterday for the Caretaker job that We have. We loaded up about 9:00am on Friday and went over there. I took Shan and Eric to the landing strip on a Snowmachine with trailer, along with their luggage and away they went. I stayed with Myra until about 12:30pm or so then back to our place to do some work on my snowmachine. (track alignment and tension adjustment) I went back over to see her about 4:30. I found her setting on the couch watching TV, chilling out. This is funny because we have not watched actual TV in over three months and that was in a motel room. We have not had TV since May. I set with her for a couple of hours and we cuddled and had a little dinner. By 7:00 we realized that we do not want TV in our cabin. We had flipped thru channels and the directory, found the same old crap and came to realize that we had not spoken much while that blasted thing was on.
We have talked (communicated) more in the last six months than we have in the previous thirty one years of marriage.
As most of you know, we were married at sixteen and eighteen years old with a child on the way. We had known each other as casual acquaintances for years through a cousin of mine and we lived two hundred and fifty miles apart. We had spent about three weeks together "Total accumulated time" as a couple before I ask her to marry me. (The proposal is a whole story of its' own) We jumped into marriage and family life and work when we were still children ourselves. We raised our children to the best of our ability.We worked jobs then started a business and Myra went to college etc, etc, etc. We were just "always" busy with Life in the Modern World. We were living the "Great American Dream".
We never took the time, made the time, had the time or knew how to "Just be Us". If we had any time it was used for a vacation or a TV or an escape from "reality" by one means or another. Even a radio in the vehicle is a distraction from the other noises that may have been entering my head, real or imagined; I just gave it Time.
Today I can tell you that I have stopped to breath. I have stood in the absolute quiet of the winter forest and been able to hear my own breathing. I have sat in the quiet I listened to myself breath. I have stood by the river with Myra and experienced Freeze Up and the silence. I have sat in a quiet cabin and listened to Myra breath. I have heard her speak and felt her words.
We have been together Twenty Four hours a day for three months and I woke up this morning without her in the cabin. I miss her! You may not find this strange in your current life or marriage for yourself but, for me this is a new feeling. To be separated for this short of a period of time and to wake up, already wanting to be back with her, is new for me.
In 1982 I got my first salaried management job and I worked a lot, in 1986 I got a job that required travel from time to time. In 1989 I got a different Salaried position that required many many hours and some travel. Myra went to college and in 1994 we started our own business. This evolved into a business that was licensed in 26 different states and I was gone at least three weeks out of the month almost every month. A few times I was gone for months at a time.
To wake up after only 13 hours apart and truly feel that I miss my wife, and have time to feel that feeling is new for me. What more can I say about this life today? I have been given another gift in life, and this time, I have time and awareness to know it and accept it.
It is about 11:00am here now. The sky is mostly blue except for a patches of clouds. A patch directly overhead is giving us a very gentle snow fall, with blue sky and mountains in the back ground. The sun is staying very low in the sky's these days. Sunrise was at 9:48 this morning and Sunset will be at 4:00. The sun never rises high enough to be above the trees right here. If I go to the hill by the river I can get a clear view of the sun.
I am enjoying these short days with a new appreciation. I don't have to race around to get things done. I just do whatever I can get done during the daylight and use a light to do what I need to during the dark. This "Used" to be a huge inconvenience because I HAD to get things done.
Once upon a Time, I HAD to make X dollars a day to pay the bills or pay for the vacation. I Had to bust my butt so I could afford the finer things in life. As you know, we sold all those "Finer" things in life to be able to live this life. The sale of those "Finer" things did allow us to jump into this life with both feet. Most people (not all) around here worked their way into being here, by being here and building their cabin and hunting, trapping, fishing and crafting their way to what has made them comfortable. We worked thru a different avenue to be here.
Today I know that I never needed all those "Finer Things". I know of many people around here that never had the "Life" that Myra I had BUT they have always know what has taken me most of my life to learn.
Had I known that I did not "Need" a vacation to enjoy life or a motorcycle to feel free or a Hot Tub to relax I sure would have worked a whole lot less to get those things. I was successful by most accounts of modern living.

I heard a minister at a funeral a while back say that he never heard anyone say on their death bed,"Gee, I wish I had worked more". I am one more guy that won't be saying that!

We have not been to town for months and We can survive on what is in our freezer for a few more months if we needed to. I could hunt and fish enough to stay ahead of the game of survival for the time being. (By the way, the freezer is not plugged in, it is cold enough to store the food without electricity for now.) We have wood for heat and can get more. We don't "Half to Have" Snowmachines and ATVs and Generators and the like. We have figured out how to live this life without that stuff, however; that stuff does make it "easier". If I ran out of fuel tomorrow We could survive and eat. I might lose more weight because of more work but We could do it. Not only can I do it, I would be happy doing it because I have time to breath. I have a freedom that I have never known before. I have a whole new realization of what is Necessary for life and what just makes life a little "nicer or easier".
I am pretty sure that Myra and I will return to "society" to live again someday, although I can't make any promises. When and If we do I will be a different person. I am a different person. I will Never Again obligate myself to anything beyond appreciation of Life and Love. The "Finer Things" in life is time to breath, time to love, time to see, time to feel, Time. Time is Free, I just did not know it! As I see it today, I worked so that I had Time to play and enjoy life. What Bullcrap was I selling to myself? I can't blame anyone else or anything else. I bought into the "Finer Things" in life theory.
Time is Money; Bull! Times a wasting; No but you can be wasting it! Time does not Stand Still (This one is True). USE your time Wisely; This has a Whole new meaning for me!
What a Gift my God has Given me today! I have Time to Breath, Time to Love, Time to Appreciate, Time to Feel. If I die with my next breath, I have had Time!

My Wish for all of you is this: MAY YOU HAVE TIME! You don't have to take it, You don't have to make it. You only have to Breath and Appreciate it! See what is Right In Front of You!

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.
I am looking forward to my TIME with my Family and Friends this holiday season.
Thank You for Allowing me to share myself with you today.

I Love You Myra!

1 comment:

  1. I am truly glad you take the time to blog and share with us and I am glad I take the time to read and enjoy your blog. I steal little moments of the peace and serenity that you write about and I too enjoy a good day of hard work but I mostly still run the hamster wheel of life. You are blessed, so very blessed to be able to live your dreams.